Abhorrent to all natural joys Philaenis sodomizes boys, And like a spouse whose wife's away She drains of spend twelve cunts a day With dress tucked up above her knees She hurls the heavy ball with ease, And, smeared all o'er with oil and sand, She wields a dumb bell in each hand, And when she quits the dirty floor, Still rank with grease, the jaded whore Submits to the schoolmaster's whip For each small fault, each trifling slip: Nor will she sit her down to dine Till she has spewed two quarts of wine: And when she's eaten pounds of steak A gallon more her thirst will slake. After all this, when fired by lust, For pricks alone she feels disgust, These cannot e'en her lips entice Forsooth it is a woman's vice! But girls she'll gamahuche for hours, Their juicy quims she quite devours. Oh, you think your sex to cloak By kissing what you cannot poke, May God grant that you, Philaenis, Will yet learn to suck a penis. - Martial